Ask Ashley: I'm a Jealous Friend
Here is our FIRST Ask Ashley! This is an email from a reader. The identity of the reader is kept confidential.
I want to ask your advice. I would like to stay anonymous. My friend is engaged to be married. Her wedding is this June and I'm the MOH. We've been friends for 6 years now and we're really close. Her Fiance is a great guy. He's handsome, charming, thoughtful, he just loves her to pieces. They met through me. He and I used to work together at Sam's Club. I always had a crush on him and one night I invited him out with my friends and me. Well, they hit it off immediately... 3.5 years later they're getting married and I have to stand up there and act like I'm happy that she's marrying the man I love. I just feel like he's supposed to be my husband. I can't help but to feel like that was supposed to me and not her. What do I do? Do I tell her? Him? Do I step down? Help!
Embarrassed and Jealous
Whoa, okay, first let me start off by saying that you were right to ask for advice. I have a lot of questions but for the sake of responding, here is my answer. Yes, you should 100% step down as MOH. I personally would not want anyone standing next to me who secretly has a crush on the man that I'm marrying. The fact that they've been together for 3.5 years and you still hold these feelings in your heart is rather concerning. It's even more concerning that you've been friends for six years and you can't find it in you to be happy for her. Especially if he's never given you a reason to still have these feelings toward him. I personally think that you should tell the bride that you're honored that she chose you to stand next to her but you need to step down. I don't think you should tell him how you feel. There's no point because he's obviously in love with your friend and that's just messy as hell! He was not supposed to be your husband because he would have been. Nothing is a mistake and everything that happens in our lives happens because it is supposed to. In short, please don't stand up as her Maid of Honor, you'll be doing the whole wedding a disservice.
What do you think?
(Nasty comments will be deleted)