Eight Times It's Absolutely Okay To Be Selfish
We’ve been taught from a young age that being selfish is not okay, that selfishness is an ugly and disgusting trait. So we've somehow adopted this idea that putting ourselves first is bad and that's just not the case. We're taught that we must think about others and put other people's needs before our own. Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be doing those things either. Yes, it’s important to consider others and show them you care by thinking about their needs, however; there are a few times when you can be a little selfish and worry about YOU.
1. When Something is No Longer Serving You
Whether it’s a job, a friendship or an intimate relationship, you don’t owe anyone anything. You have the right to walk away from anything that does not serve you. Earlier this year, I was in a job that I knew that I needed to walk away from. I was terribly unhappy. I stayed because I felt bad about leaving for multiple reasons. One day, I got the strength to apply for another job. I got called in for an interview and a few weeks later, I was offered the position. Although I felt bad about leaving that other position, my self-care was much more important. When things stop making you feel good, it is not only your right, it is your duty to walk away.
"Don’t let obligation become a prison"
2. When You Need Some Alone Time
We live in a world that’s constantly telling us to “hurry up and go”. We’re always moving, shaking and getting things done. Especially as someone who runs a blog and works a full-time job, I’m busy. All that is great but sometimes we need to unwind. Turn off our phones. Leave those emails for tomorrow and just relax. It’s okay to take a day to yourself. It’s okay to claim a mental health day. It’s totally fine to express the need to just relax and turn it off sometimes. Don’t feel bad for needing some alone time.
3. When You’re Giving More than You’re Receiving
Yes, I know as kids we're taught, "It's better to give than to receive". We're not talking about Christmas time here. We're talking about giving too much of yourself away. It’s okay to turn your attention inward when you are not getting the reciprocated efforts that you deserve. You don’t owe anyone or anything unwavering effort if you’re not getting it back. Period.
“Givers have to set limits because the takers rarely do”
4. When Someone is Getting in the Way of Your Success
If you have goals and you have set out on a path to get there, it’s okay to put your job and career goals first. You don’t want to look back on your life and say, “I wish I had”. As long as you’re not hurting anyone along the way, go get what’s yours! DISCLAIMER: while it's okay to be selfish sometimes, it's not okay to hurt people. You’ll have to use your own moral compass to scale what that means for yourself.
5. When Your Health is at Stake
In our over-worked culture, we can suffer from stress, anxiety and depression. You have the right to take a step away from anything that is taking away from your health and well-being. You’re allowed to live your best life and doing so means that your health is not compromised in that.
6. When You’re Single
When you’re single, you don’t owe anyone anything. You’re allowed to date around. You’re allowed to have your fun. You can go on as many dates as you want or don’t want. You don’t have to be available to anyone until you’re absolutely ready to be. Don't let a guy you're casually seeing make you feel bad for dating around. Don't let society make you feel bad for taking time to yourself. DO YOU, BOO!
7. When Your Boundaries Are at Stake
We all have to set boundaries in our lives. Without boundaries we can cross lines or let others cross lines with us. Leaving us hurt or hurting others. You’re allowed to be selfish when something or someone is compromising the boundaries that you’ve set in place. Upholding your boundaries are also a part of your self-care. Your self-care always comes first!
8. When You’re in Your 20s!
As a 20-something year old woman, I can’t declare that your 20s are the best years of your life because I have not experienced my 30s or 40s just yet. However, I can say that those are years that you’ll never get back! So travel, go to that concert, go on that road trip, do whatever it is that you want to do! Again, you owe nothing to anyone.
Remember, your self-care is most important. With that said, it’s okay to put yourself first. That’s not to say that you completely run over others. Use your best judgement to determine if your choice is a healthy one for yourself or not.